


Would It Matter?

by MatrixDream



Series: My Favourite Fics Of Mine [6]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, read with caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 08:07:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11733012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixDream/pseuds/MatrixDream
Summary: Swerve has depression, there's no way around it. Though Swearth isn't the only time he's tried to die.





	Would It Matter?

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't having a good night, took up a list of depressed characters and conveyed some of my own words and thoughts into poor Swerve here. Honestly this is mostly a comfort fic for me so take it with a pinch of salt. Also Un-beta'd cause I don't want to cause them to suffer through this. It's not my usual style anyways, format wise.

        Tonight was just one of those nights where a sit-com wouldn't cut it. The cheap jokes couldn't get a laugh out of Swerve even if it had put a gun to his helm. _Gun to his helm._

Okay, now a little bad mood was beginning to hit the red zone and drift into dangerous territory. Nothing he wasn't unused to but also not something he'd so readily accept with open arms.  _Not accepted._

At least the voices on the holo screen made the room seem a little less lonely, even if it was all fake.  _Alone, fake, just like me._

It still wasn't helping though, if anything it was just making him angry. This was supposed to help, this was his go to when he was feeling like this!  _No help._

        Well, maybe a real one on one conversation with someone would offer better support. With a shaking digit, he scrolled through all his old contacts in the hopes to find someone.  _Anyone._

        Most of the contacts were void of a picture, only blank, grey boxes where faces should be. Each empty profile signified a bot who didn't ~~want~~ have time to take one. That was okay though, as long as the frequency worked, right? _Wrong._

Tapping the first one caused an error message to pop up as the contact was apparently missing. That's alright.  _It's not._

        He tried the next one, and then the one after that, but every single one had something up. Either the code was fake or not found or there was just static or it rang for ten minutes before he would finally give up and move onto the next. Within moments he was down to the last few. He deleted all the blank ones and was now left with only a few names.  _Empty._

One of the contacts was clearly a bot just trying to sell stuff, so he deleted that one too. Now he was left with three frequencies and each caused him to hesitate in touching. It was between Red Alert, Cyclonus, or Skids. The first was currently offline and had enough to worry about even if he wasn't. Cyclonus would possibly be up at this hour and could give some good advice but the Minibot really didn't want to scare him off with a long depressing talk. Which left only Skids' contact. Swerve's best friend  _?_

    Clicking on the name before he could lose his nerve, he watched the contact try to connect with what ever device it could. Only the answering machine picked up and he lost any semblance of hope he'd had.  _No hope._

        Well, the least he could do was leave a final message, right? "Hey buddy, I'm feeling very alone right now. I-if you could pick up the phone right now, I-I'd really like to talk, like right away. But if you can't, that's okay. Just don't bother calling in the morning. I...Love you. Bye." Swerve hung up, and stared at the device in his servo. That last bit made him feel a bit stupid, but hey there'd be no more regrets now.  _Stupid, alone, regret._

        Of course he couldn't go through with his first thought of the night. Everyone knew he was a terrible shot after all, but there were still plenty more ways. Though he did still have time to do something else, maybe he could finish that episode he was watching. Truly enjoy it before he dies.  _Kill yourself._

        Turning the holo screen back on, he only stared at the screen, still not really seeing it. One less depressed bot aboard the L.L, not like many would miss him. The bar? Yes. Him? No. And the tears began to stream down his cheeks. He made no move to wipe them as he sat with his back pressed against the wall. Only five more minutes before the show would be over. Then his life. 

        The credits rolled, playing a jolly tune as words scrolled by and eventually turned to static. The white noise was deafening in the quiet room but eventually it too would quiet.  _Quie-_

There was a loud ruckus suddenly, heavy pede steps clearly running in the halls before skidding to his door. He barely more than twitched, too empty and full of despair to feel any flicker of hope. 

        His door was wrenched open, blinding him with sudden bright light, only obscured by a tall figure standing in the wrecked door frame, venting heavily. "Swerve!" Skids rushed over and dropped to his knees in front of the smaller mech. "Are you okay?" 

        "I-I..." Hiccuping, Swerve finally realized he'd been crying and rushed to wipe away the tears. 

        The other mech helped him, touching his face gently and wiping away thick globs of fluid with large digits. "I'm sorry I didn't get here faster." 

        "It's okay, it's not your fault." 

        "I should've picked up, or called back, but I thought it'd be better if I came in person. That was stupid, I'm sorry." Skids hugged the smaller bot to his chest. 

        "It's okay, again not your fault. I just, I guess I just didn't want to be alone tonight. At least not completely, for a while at least..." Swerve sighed, his vents shaky from stress, and more tears dripped from his visor. 

        "I'll stay as long as you need, alright?" Skids pulled back a bit to stare into the tear filled, blue visor. Brushing away more liquid, he softly kissed the Mini's nose. Before picking the smaller mech up and laying both of them on the bot's berth to talk or recharge. What ever his little buddy needed right now. "And Swerve?" He whispered. 

        "Y-yeah?" The aforementioned mech sniffled, looking up at him. 

        "I love you, too." 

**Author's Note:**

> I will at some point write a fic where love (familiar, platonic, romantic, etc) isn't a temporary 'cure' but tonight is not the night. One day somebot will have to face the full ugly truth. You can take this fic as romantic or still platonic, what ever.


End file.
